


There is life outside your apartment.

by Ghoulboyboos



Series: The Avenue Q OST makes good titles [1]
Category: Buzzfeed Unsolved (Web Series)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Pining, Post-Break Up, Pre-Slash, Ryan needs some happy times, Shane notices
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-05
Updated: 2018-07-05
Packaged: 2019-06-05 17:36:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,344
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15175877
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ghoulboyboos/pseuds/Ghoulboyboos
Summary: Ryan has been a little down in the dumps after his break up. Shane hopes to get him out of there, but he needs the "Testies" to help him out. Sometimes you have to drag your depressed mopey friend out of the door and mess around the city together.Warnings for a bit of swearing and sappyness.Title from: "There is Life outside your Apartment" - Avenue Q





	There is life outside your apartment.

“Jen, do you have plans for tonight?”  
Shane leans against one of the columns in the Buzzfeed office. Jen, who was just packing up looks at him.  
“I mean it’s Friday… but not yet, why?”  
“I’m asking some of the others if they wanna go out to a club, have a few drinks, dance a bit. You interested?”  
“Sure… Wait, is this for a video?”  
Shane laughs.  
“No, no, I was thinking of inviting all the testies, though.”  
“Okay.”  
Shane looks left and right as if he has to make sure nobody was listening before he leans in a bit and lowers his voice.  
“It’s because of Ryan. He looks… not good.”  
“Yeah… I noticed. He isn’t taking the break up so well.”  
Shane nods seriously.  
“I was thinking it could help to get him out a bit, you know. If he just sits at home and looks at the emptied spots of her furniture, he’s not gonna get over it.”  
“That’s a good plan”, she admits. Her face becomes a bit softer and she leans in as well, whispering conspiratorial.  
“Do you have… like… another plan for him?”  
Shane flushes. Jen is the first and so far only one he told that his feelings for Ryan weren’t strictly speaking platonic anymore. She had chastised him a little: “Never fall for the straights, it only hurts ya!”, but she still proved to be incredibly supportive and offered to help with the situation whenever Shane felt horrible. He casts his eyes downward and shakes his head. Then he meets her gaze firmly.  
“No. He’s still hurting and… I don’t want to exploit that or something. This would be some sort of rebound situation and I don’t want that.”  
Jen looks at him with a little bit of worry. “Okay”, she starts slowly. “But you can’t keep yourself hurting like this, man. You’ll crack.”  
Shane nods and rubs the back of his head. He’s agitated now, but he has made a decision.  
“Not today. I want him to have fun with friends and forget about relationships. Beers, stupid dancing, that shit. Healing takes time.”  
Jen squeezes his arm.  
“Then let’s go get him.”

***

Daysha, Jen and Shane pile into Daysha’s car. They planned to drive to the club and then split a taxi or call an Uber to get home later. Daysha doesn’t live too far from the club they picked and she said it was no problem for her to pick up her car tomorrow. Maycie texted them that she would join them on location.  
“Looking sharp, Shane!” Daysha calls out as she looks at him through the rearview mirror.  
Shane fixes his collar. He is wearing a pink button down with several buttons undone and a dark jacket. He has _not_ dressed up for the occasion, but he has made an effort.  
The girls look amazing. Daysha is absolutely glowing and her make up is sparkly. Jen has kept her tomboyish style with a hat and baggy pants and she is wearing a cocky grin to match.  
Shane decides he is not going to pick up Ryan himself. He sent out the text messages, no reason to look desperate. But he still looks after Jen as she jogs up the stairs of the apartment complex.  
“You think he’ll enjoy himself?” He hears himself asking.  
“Ryan loves a good party, it’ll be fine.” Daysha sounds soft and reassuring and Shane suddenly wonders if she knows.

He doesn't have to sit and wait and worry for long.  
“There they come!” Daysha says with a glance in the rearview mirror.  
Shane twists in his seat and looks through the back window. Ryan and Jen are running down the stairs, Ryan is grinning widely as Jen is bouncing around and… singing?  
She nudges him with her elbow as she reaches a certain line and Ryan throws his head back in a full laugh and Shane feels glee and satisfaction. This was a good idea.  
“That looks good”, he comments and Daysha hums in agreement.  
“He already looks better.”  
Shane nods. Ryan is wearing a bright white t-shirt, not unlike the ridiculous 80$ see-through thing they laughed about in the price guess video. He has dark pants, white trainers and a grey cardigan to complete the look. His neck is free and Shane wants to hug him and bury his face there. He rubs his cheeks to fight the flush and then Jen and Ryan reach the car and he scoots over to make room for Ryan.  
“Heeeyyy!” Ryan calls out as he falls into his seat, half leaning against Shane to get his legs in the back.  
“About time!” Daysha calls out and Ryan grins up at Shane who holds out his hand for a high five, which Ryan gives with enthusiasm.  
“What were you doing back there?” Daysha asks as Jen buckles next to her.  
“She was standing in front of my door singing Avenue Q songs”, Ryan laughs.  
“What now?”, Shane asks.  
“It’s like a musical with Muppets but dirtier”, Jen explains. Then she clears her throat.  
  
_There is life outside your apartment!_  
_I know, it’s hard to conceive._  
_But there’s life outside your apartment._  
_And you only gonna see it if you leave!_

She starts getting into it, bouncing on her seat and pointing at the boys in the back seat.  
  
_There is cool shit to do, but it can’t come to you_  
_and who knows dude, you might even score!!!_  
  
Shane can swear she is winking at him in exactly that second and he bites his tongue.  
  
_There is life outsiiiide your apartment!_  
_But you got! To open! The! Door!_  
  
With emphasis, she throws open the car door hard enough for it to bounce back and slam shut again.  
Everyone starts laughing and cheering and Shane is shaking his head in disbelief. It is funny and lovely and Ryan next to him is laughing and he seems more relaxed than the entirety of the last few weeks, so Shane's plan is going well and he is so, so happy he decided to go with it.

“Does the guy actually score?” Daysha asks as she pulls out of the driveway.  
“Yeah”, Ryan calls from the back. “He goes home with Lucy the Slut.”  
“Sounds like a very compelling character”, Shane deadpans in amusement and they hit the road with Jen and Ryan giving the other two a messy medley edition of Avenue Q. Maycie joins them at the club, dressed for dancing and her top is reflecting the lights around them. Everyone hugs and together they show their IDs to the bouncer and throw themselves into the club life. 

***

Shane is taking a gulp from his beer and scans the dance floor for his friends. Okay, maybe he is mostly scanning it for Ryan, but nobody has to know that.  
He finds Ryan dancing with Jen, they are laughing and throwing around their limbs and he feels his heart swell as he sees the glee on Ryan’s face. The pounding song fades into something more smooth and slow and Ryan and Jen look around in amusement as some people pair off and start swaying like it’s everyone’s prom. They look at each other and Jen shrugs comically before reaching out and linking her pinkies with Ryan’s. They start to sway with ridiculous faces swinging their arms left and right in an overexaggerated manner that makes both of them burst into laughter. Shane chuckles to himself. A tiny part of him feels a little jealous. Not of Jen, of course, he knew she wasn’t into Ryan, or any guy for that matter. But something in him wants to be the one to dance with Ryan, god, he wants to slow dance with this man and he feels his cheeks warm. Fucking ridiculous, he thinks but he can’t take his eyes away. Ryan says something and Jen smirks, glances over at Shane and leans closer to Ryan. She puts her head on his shoulder and Shane can’t see her face behind Ryan’s head but he can see her chin move so she must be talking. Ryan’s eyes widen and he glances over at Shane and Shane chokes on his beer because – shit - and has to turn away coughing. What did Jen just tell him? He quickly wipes his mouth and the table with the sleeve of his jacket to pat up the beer and doesn’t notice Jen walks over until she sits down next to him.

He glances around for Ryan, a bit panicky and Jen starts to laugh.  
“He’s getting another drink.”  
Shane swallows and wills the flush to leave his face. Then he whips around to face Jen.  
“What did you tell him?!”  
“Whoa, Shane, chill.” She grins and takes a swig of her drink, making him wait and she knows what she is doing because she looks so god damn smug Shane could grab and shake her.  
“He just said: “Thanks for getting me to go out today, I really needed this.” So I told him it was your idea.” Jen shrugs. “He was surprised but then again you two sit together and you’re best friends so-”  
“Jen!”  
“Shane, chill. Even if you didn’t have a thing for him you would have seen that something was wrong, right?”  
Shane exhales through his nose and fidgets with the beer bottle.  
“I guess so, yeah.”  
“See. You need to chill. If you keep acting like that he’s gonna notice.”

“Notice what?”  
“Nothing!”  
Shane puts his elbow on the table and his chin on his fist and smiles innocently at Ryan, who just looks a little confused. Shane can practically hear Jen roll her eyes behind him.

***

Daysha is finally the one to ask the dreaded question. The bar space has a lounge, away from the pounding sounds of the bass on the dance floor. They all sit together on a cushioned bench, shoulder to shoulder, knees pressed together and each of them holding an exceptionally good Mojito when she turns and fixes Ryan with a look.  
“So, Ryan. How are you holding up, man?”  
Ryan’s smile falters just a little. He looks to the ground and takes a thoughtful sip and Shane feels something tug on his stomach. He almost wishes Daysha hadn’t asked, but he’s curious and of he’s worried. Ryan hasn’t been into their banter as much lately. He gives up more easily, ends their discussions with “yeah, maybe, whatever.” and stares ahead into the space between spaces way too much for Shane’s liking. He really wants to get him out of this dump. Feelings or not, Ryan is his best friend and as funny as seeing him freaked out or riled up is, seeing him this down is nothing but depressing.  
Ryan takes a deep breath. Daysha is about to say something among the lines of “You don’t have to” when he speaks up.  
“To be honest I was holding up… well, I wasn’t. I felt like shit. I still do a little bit to be fair, but I am feeling much better now.”  
His face splits into his wide grin and he looks at each of them individually and he is probably imagining it, but Shane feels like his gaze is lingering on him just a little.  
“This is exactly what I needed tonight. Thank all of you, you are real friends.”  
Jen puts an arm around him, the others lean in and Shane decides to be brave and puts his hand on Ryan’s arm, squeezing the biceps just a little.  
“We’ll always be here to help, man.” He speaks so quietly, that the noise of the club almost drowns it out. But Ryan looks up at him with a slightly tense smile and swallows as if he is getting emotional.  
“Thanks, Shane.”  
“Any time.”

Shane catches Jen’s eye who is smiling at him and he feels conflicted, not wanting the hope in his heart soar just to see it crash and burn. But then again, Ryan has not pulled away from the touch, he leans into Shane just a bit as Jen pulls her arm back to put her straw in her mouth and Shane doesn’t move, afraid to break the spell.

***

They split a Taxi. Daysha is the first to exit, waving and throwing kisses as they take off. They get Maycie to her boyfriend’s house and finally, Jen says goodnight, hugging them and calling out as the door closes:  
“See you on Monday, my beautiful, beautiful boys!”

Ryan laughs and Shane smiles happily. But then Ryan’s face drops just a tiny bit as Shane gives his address to the driver. Shane feels like he should ignore it, should let the bliss of a fun evening affect the conversation but he just can't. “What’s wrong?”  
Ryan laughs joylessly.  
“It’s stupid. It’s just… I don’t feel like going back home. The place is kinda empty right now and I just- I don’t know. It’s dumb.”  
“It’s not dumb.” Shane feels himself frown. "It’s normal to be upset, Ryan.” Ryan sighs.  
“I know… I just feel like… it should be okay by now.”  
Shane shrugs.  
“Everyone needs their time. But if you don’t feel like going home: You can crash on my couch, we could have another beer and watch something mindless to wind down. If you want, that is.”  
Ryan looks at him and Shane’s throat closes as he sees actual surprise in his eyes. Does Ryan really think Shane would consider him any sort of burden? That his door wasn't open to Ryan 24/7?  
"Are you sure? I don't want to ... you know, impose or anything." "I still have popcorn, we could make some." “I’d love that.”  
His voice is soft and Shane has to clear his throat a couple time.  
“There we go, then. It's decided.”

***

Shane nearly falls asleep standing up in the elevator, but as soon as he passes the threshold of his apartment, he feels a bit more invigorated.  
“Still up for that extra beer?”  
Ryan toes his shoes off and rubs his eyes.  
“Absolutely. Do you mind if I use some of your contact solution?”  
“Knock yourself out.”

Five minutes later, they settle on the couch together. Both wear their glasses and comfy socks (Ryan had an extra pair stashed here since forever) and Shane puts the bowl of popcorn between them. He hops channels a bit before he settles on some nature documentary and they clink their beer bottles to toast to the night.  
They relax around each other. Ryan takes an instagram of Shane, narrating his actions in a terrible Attenborough impression.  
“The humble Sasquatch settles in for the night, with beer and popcorn, which are the main food sources and the preferred sustenance of this strange cryptid.”  
Shane flips him off without looking and continues to chew, but when the phone is put away, he chuckles and allows the fondness to reach his eyes as he is looking at Ryan. Ryan smiles back, maybe a little bit confused, but comfortable and relaxed. He puts his phone on the table and leans back into the cushions. 

“Thank you again, man. For tonight. I felt like shit and you turned this day into the best thing for a long time.”

Shane swallows. He wishes he didn’t have to.  
“You’re welcome little man.”  
“Shut up, Shane.”  
“Sorry that you didn’t score tonight.”  
“It’s fine. I’m not looking for a Lucy the Slut. I … I’m not one for hook ups and one night stands...”

Shane can only answer in an affirmative hum and stares ahead at the colorful images of Madagascar chameleons climbing around so Ryan can't see the unspoken hopes in his eyes.

***

Ryan eventually falls asleep. Shane makes an effort to get up, switch off the TV and take the bottle from Ryan’s fingers without waking him. He even manages to get Ryan to stretch out on the sofa and throw a blanket over him without more than a snuffle from him. For a second, Shane just looks at him and allows his heart to swell. More than anything else, he wants Ryan to be happy. If Ryan ends up happy with someone else, that would be fine. Well, okay. It would suck, but it would be fine. Shane smiles to himself as he switches off the light and looks at Ryan in the darkness. He has placed a glass of water and a painkiller on the couch table and plugged in Ryan’s phone. Tomorrow was a free Saturday and maybe, just maybe, he could get Ryan to have breakfast with him at some pancake place. Maybe he would tell Ryan how he feels. Probably not, but in the future, at one point, he will. He promises it to himself.

***

He wakes up at about 5am with a dry mouth and the beginning of a headache, so he carefully sneaks into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. Ryan is rolled up in the blanket on the sofa and Shane stops just for a moment to look at him. His heart is full and his face is warm and he quickly moves on to down water and rummage around the fridge for the sports drink he keeps there. When he returns, Ryan is awake. The water and the painkiller are gone and he is looking up from his phone at Shane.

“Sorry. Did I wake you up?” Shane feels on the spot. He made sure he was stepping carefully and he didn’t bash the bottle of Gatorade against anything either.  
Ryan smiles and shakes his head.  
“I was kind of awake already.”  
“Okay… we still got enough time to sleep, maybe you should go back to bed.”  
Ryan nods but his gaze follows Shane out of the living room. Shane doesn’t know what to say. He takes another gulp of his drink and settles back into bed. It’s only one minute until Ryan appears in the door.  
Shane stares. He feels himself flushing and is grateful for it being so dark dark. The only thing he can see are the vague shapes of his bedroom and in the bit of light that falls in from outside he sees Ryan linger, hesitate and finally move. He walks around Shane’s bed, slowly and carefully. Not like an animal on the prowl, but rather like a scared, vulnerable thing looking for solace. Maybe a safe place. Shane holds his breath and he just can’t ask Ryan what he’s doing.

Finally Ryan stops in front of Shane’s bed. He stares at him in the darkness and his eyes look huge and black.  
“This is so stupid. I ...”  
Ryan's voice is barely more than a whisper, but Shane understands. He sees the clasped hands in front of Ryan’s stomach, sees the small tremble in his shoulders and the desparation in his gaze. Ryan looks left, he looks right and swallows hard. "You know it's so fucking dumb I was going to ask you if- Can you imagine that-." It doesn't even really sound like a question. Ryan is just standing there, silhouetted against the window until he moves and Shane realizes that he is about to walk out again. He can’t help it.  
He shuffles over to one half of the bed and throws back the covers. Ryan freezes and stares at him and if Shane's heart wasn't beating so stupidly loud, he is sure he could hear Ryan’s. He looks afraid from what he can tell, not terrified as he is in haunted houses, but cautious as if anything he does could destroy something invaluable. Then with a sigh, his shoulders fall in relief and he sits down on the bed a little too hard and lets himself fall over, his head dropping on one of the pillows. Shane stares at Ryan's back with wide eyes and waits, unsure if he should do anything. He can't get himself to touch Ryan, he is scared the other is going to bolt out of the room after all. Slowly, carefully, Ryan rolls over to face Shane, pulls the covers over him and slowly looks up.  
Shane swallows. There are quite a few scenarios he imagined with Ryan in his bed but he can't for the life of him decide on something to do. So he moves in slow motion, pushing his hand across the mattress till he touches Ryan’s stomach. He finds his friend’s hand and pauses as their fingers touch, but when Ryan doesn't pull away, he trails it up over the elbow before he moves in and wraps his arm around Ryan. Ryan exhales, more exhausted than relieved and burrows himself into Shane’s chest. Their arms wrap around each other and they lean into one another, holding on while still tense and unsure. Ryan sighs and tucks his head under Shane's chin and Shane rubs slow cycles on Ryan's back. He feels less on the edge now, with Ryan slowly falling asleep in his arms, but he can't get himself to relax completely. Shane wants this to last forever, he fights sleep until he feels delirious, even when Ryan is softly snoring in his arms, he tries his darndest to stay awake. He doesn’t want to wake up to an empty bed and miss Ryan. Now that a tiny bit of the wall that seperates friendship and something more has crumbled, he feels like there is more ahead, but if Ryan wakes up in fear or regret, Shane doesn't know how to move on. 

***

He wakes up realizing he's worried himself to exhaustion. The light in his room is too bright for it to be morning hours and there is a soft pressure of pain in his head. Not the worst hangover he ever had, but enough to regret drinking. He is fearful as he stares ahead in the blurry mess of the world without his glasses on, so he only slowly allows his other senses to come in. He feels warm. His right arm hurts a bit because there is something heavy lying on it. He feels the shape of a body in his embrace and his heart picks up speed. The fear of waking up alone to an apologetic regretful text from Ryan dissipates and he glances down, surprised when he finds Ryan awake. Ryan apparently had been focused on his chest, fingers carefully touching his soft shirt and dancing on his neck, but now he looks up and seeks Shane's gaze, both of them searching each other's faces for reactions.

Shane finally breathes in slowly and deeply and clears his throat.  
"Morning."  
Ryan smiles and glances behind him at the window.  
"I think it's almost noon."  
Shane laughs.  
"It's wake-up time, that's enough for a morning."  
"Hm."  
Ryan smiles up at him, letting his eyes wander to Shane's hairline and he reaches up to pat at Shane's bed hair, trying to smooth it out.  
Shane chuckles.  
"That's ... you won't get it to behave. I think I have to shower."  
Ryan lies his hand down on the pillow and looks into Shane's eyes again. He chews his bottom lip a little.  
"You can go shower if you like. I can call an uber and-"  
"You can shower here", Shane says way too quickly. "We can grab breakfast somewhere. If ... if you want."  
"Uhm..."  
"If you want to leave, you can leave of course. I just- I mean..." Shane clears his throat again. "I would like you to stay, if that's alright."  
Ryan stares at him, wide eyed and surprised, searching Shane's face for _something_.  
"I know a place that has great waffles. And for the people who don't appreciate a good crunch, they probably have pancakes, too."  
That makes Ryan laugh.  
"Seriously, dude? Back to that old shit?"  
Shane shrugs and he reluctantly leans back to grab his glasses from the side table behind him, putting them on.  
"If you are ready to give yourself to the glory that are fresh waffles on a Saturday morning, I'll even treat you. Sound good?"  
Ryan laughs and shakes his head, rubbing his face into Shane's chest for a moment.  
"Fine, fine, you can introduce me to your world of waffles, you fucking weirdo."  
Shane smiles down at him, placing his arm around Ryan again. He reaches up, ruffles his hair softly and lets his eyes roam over him.  
"I didn't... I didn't invite you out yesterday with this in mind. I mean- I didn't plan it. Just so you know. I wanted to see you happy and forget about all the shit in the last weeks. I wanted... I don't know what I wanted. I guess I wanted this, but I didn't want you to be uncomfortable or feel like I forced you into anyth-"  
Ryan places a finger on his lips.  
"You're rambling, Big Guy. It's okay."  
Shane sighs and Ryan slowly grins at him.  
"How about we get ready and have breakfast and talk about stuff later?"  
"Sounds good."  
Shane reluctantly disentangles himself from Ryan and gets up. When he's at the door, he looks back at Ryan. He has sat up in Shane's bed and is currently stretching. His muscular arms are tensing and Shane leans against the door frame, watching a little bit. Ryan notices and chucks a pillow at him which Shane has to catch before it hits him in the head.  
"Go shower! If breakfast is good, I'll invite you to dinner, how's that sound?"  
Shane flushes.  
"You don't have to."  
"I want to, Shane. Don't be such a dork."  
Shane throws the pillow back, missing Ryan and smacking it into the wall.  
"Get up, then. They only have breakfast till three."  
Ryan dives over the edge of a bed to grab the pillow again and Shane bolts.  
He makes it to the bathroom before it can escalate into a full blown pillow fight and slams the door. Outside, Ryan is laughing about as much as he is. Shane leans back against the door, smiles at his own ruffled, red-cheeked reflection and winks.  


Somehow, everything was going to be alright.

**Author's Note:**

> My first Buzzfeed Unsolved fanfic and of course it's fluff. It will always be fluffy with me.  
> I loved Avenue Q for about a decade and their songs still stick with me to this day.  
> (English isn't my first language and this isn't Beta-read so I apoligize for any language weirdness in there).


End file.
